I Promise I Haven't Forgotten Y'all!

Here's what's been going down while I haven't been writing of late ...

Today

The Boy came home ecstatic.

Again. (This is getting to be a trend ... a good one!)

... Today he couldn't wait to show us his Press Pass!! He was thrilled to get to join the school paper and can't wait to get his first assignment for the school paper.

**We are very thankful he & The Girl attend a public school that offers so many outside-of-class experiences - Chess Club, Sports Club, Art Club, Drawing Club, Student Newspaper, Drum Club, Robotics Club, Chorus, Dance ... And I could go on! Lots of teachers and parents give their time before and after school and during lunch to make these opportunities available to our kids.

Annoyances & Some Happy Thoughts: 

1. Going to a restaurant and having your server tell you that you don't want what you ordered the way you ordered it, then having that same server neglect to refill your drink (duration of the meal) and finally, being argumentative about the check (after she neglects to take off for coupons/specials/etc.): This does not please me.  (SN: I am very, very appreciative of good service, but poor service? Grrr.) 

2. When people ask for opinions/help/explanations, etc. (be it through Facebook or in real life) and people offer them sound, quality advice or responses and instead of accepting that information, they choose to only respond to information that is incendiary, meaning something that was "not that big of a deal" becomes fodder for ugliness: This does not please me.  

3. Many things please me: Friends of the Library Book Sales (we had a great time perusing the tables and got some excellent deals yesterday ... Yay!); My children having a great day at school and coming home in good moods; Clean laundry, fresh sheets, vacuumed floors; Clean dogs; A long, hot bath with a new book. 

Time With Friends

We had a great weekend visiting with T and her family ... So glad that they opted to stay with us this weekend so that we could chat and catch-up while they were in town for a wedding. There's just something to be said for staying up late, laughing with friends and I'm glad we got to do that!

I am sure poor their 8-year old, R, was exhausted from all the love & adoration from The Girl and The Boy had a blast nerding out with her, too! I can't believe our kids were together all weekend and there was no arguing or complaining!

October Giving

The Girl is so excited that October is our month to buy books for her whole class ... She's only slightly angry that I won't tell her what the book is or what it's about.

Teacher friends: Do y'all take advantage of the $1 book deals? The Girl's 5K class had families sign up to sponsor one month during the school year so that each child will have been gifted with 10 books by the end of the school year ... She was soooo excited when she came home with her new book in September (Hi! Fly Guy by Tedd Arnold).

(I would always rather give books than candy or junk toys, so this pleases me. )

The Boy is a Star Wars fan so imagine my happiness when his teacher brought in working R2-D2 robot for him last Friday morning (for the day) and I got this message from her on Facebook over the weekend, with the picture below:  

A look at the week ahead ~ "The Boy" with a British accent on the morning announcements?...and this guy showing up? Monday is going to be Masterful!

 We went to the Beaufort County Friends of the Library Book Sale over the weekend ... We stocked up on some beach-reading, some history, some sci-fi and some juvenile fiction ... For $11 per box!

Also:

• I watched the youtube video for "What the Fox Say" ... I don't get it and it's a little creepy;
• The Girl snores. She sounds like static on a black-and-white t.v.;
• Discussions on education;
• Watching great films (PBS's "Latino American: War and Peace; The New Latinos" is an excellent film and worth your time. It's about the service of Latino Americans during World War II. AND the film BlackFish) 
• Subbing. A lot. 

I'll be back!!  

Yikes!

You're still here and I haven't forgotten - I promise! I've just been a tiny bit busy.

So, to re-cap funny/interesting things that have happened in the past few days while I was a way ...

• I introduced my kids to New Kids on the Block. Yes, I averted a minor pop culture travesty. 
• I got some new followers on twitter - strangers are following me now! And golfers! And journalists! I feel special. And even better? I'm getting favorited and re-tweeted ... Exciting stuff, y'all. Come follow me @BrookeJM79
• I have subbed now 4 days with another day on the books for later this week. I have now concluded that I prefer high school students on their worst day(s) to any other grades. But I especially dislike the "middle grades" - what horrible, horrible years. 
• My Boy told me: 

"Mama, I know how the platypus came to be! Someone breeded (yes, that's the word he used!!) a duck and a beaver!"

Never have I been happier to say, "um, no. God made a platypus. The end."

Too much Turtle Man? Me thinks yes."

Additionally ...

• We've had company this week (Hi, Lindsay!)
• I got to go to the beach twice this week (once for an hour or so with Heather & once again with the kids and Lindsay)
• We ate a lot guacamole this week. I mean, A LOT. Like 8 avacdaoes worth.
• Craft night got postponed (Again. We are officially the worst crafters. Ever. )
• The New Girl and The Mindy Project premiered this week ... Now I'm just waiting on Grey's Anatomy, The Parenthood, The Walking Dead ...
• And now it's Saturday night and I'm gearing up to watch Bridesmaids so I can laugh til I cry. 

Oh ... And I'm subbing Every. Single. Day. Next. Week ... So if you don't hear from me, that might be why. And my friend, Tarah, and her family are popping in for the weekend. Maybe something funny, touching or entertaining will happen and here in this forum I will have a chance to share it with you ... Fingers crossed!

Twelve Years

Here it is ... a few minutes after 11 p.m. ... Not even an hour left of this 12th Anniversary of 9-11-01.

It's not that I am just now sitting down to write because I've forgotten what day it is - I won't ever forget.

In fact, like many of you reading this right now, I will remember exactly where I was when I heard.

I was in college - The University of South Carolina-Upstate - and was heading toward a 9:20 a.m. class in the Humanities and Performing Arts Center. At the top of the stairs is a an open loft-style area and there was a television mounted in the corner. The news was playing and as I walked past, I saw the replay of the first plane hitting the North Tower.

As I stopped to watch - certain that I was seeing a preview for a new, awful movie - the broadcast cut to live coverage of the second plane flying into the South Tower.

I don't remember any of the people - fellow students, instructors - who were standing there, watching with me. I remember having an absolutely lost feeling.

And over the next few hours - as a third plane hit the Pentagon and as we heard the first reports of the fourth plane crashing into a field in Pennsylvania - I continued to be afraid.

If these things could happen in New York or Pennsylvania or The Pentagon, for crying out loud, it could happen anywhere. 

But today it's not forgetfulness that finds me saving my thoughts until the end of the day.

It was life.

On September 11, 2001, it felt like the world stopped turning, for just a moment.

And then the people mobilized.

First responders ran into the fire. 

Everyday, ordinary citizens hugged on the street, gave blood, gave money, packed up and went to Ground Zero to serve in any way they were able.

And today, twelve years later, I have remembered all day.

I've talked to my own children about the horror of that day. And of the beauty that grew from such hatred and horror. 

I've talked with my husband about how our fellow journalists, both television and print, stepped up to share information with the rest of us. Even though they had to be shaken. Even though they had to want nothing more than to be home with their own families.

I have remembered. 

And in honor of those whose lives were taken, of those who gave their lives, I choose to live. 

I choose to be a good neighbor who watches out for those who live around me.

I choose to raise my children to love and respect people of all races, all colors and all creeds.

Thank you, writers of The West Wing, for these words ...

"You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. It makes them absolutely crazy."

- Joshua Lyman, Isaac & Ishmael

I will never forget. 

In another, younger life I was a Nanny.

I did a lot of things for and with this fabulous family and knowing them has enriched my life in ways I could never begin to express.

Watching the children that I adored grow up and find their way in the world has been a tremendous blessing.

All that to say ... My "kids" (they were 4th, 6th & 9th graders when we first met) are getting a lot of press these days and I couldn't be prouder!

So, here are links where you can read about some amazing, talented, smart, funny and beautiful 20-somethings who are doing all that they can to leave their world with a little more beauty.

Will In The Park

Sisal & Tow

And if that isn't enough, they've got a baby brother who is soon to join them out in the real world, and he's going to be magic, too.

So if you're in Manhattan, NY or Charleston, SC, look up these talents - your life will be better for having met them!

Neighbors

So ... I went and had myself a little rant this evening.

Ranting is something I typically reserve for the Hubs, but tonight ... Well, just too much has been said.

I enjoy politics and I love the spirit of debating ideas and thoughts. I love these debates when they are done in the spirit of growth and cooperation and an intent for the greater good.

But I don't enjoy when your political or personal views give way to hate.

There are things that I don't understand about this world. 

I don't understand how it is that I can live next door to a someone who practices different religious beliefs (or no beliefs at all) than mine; and while I might disagree with you - my neighbor - I don't harbor in my heart an intent to do you harm.

On the global scale, I don't understand building political success on the backs of hate-speech and fear-mongering. I don't understand going to war with neighbors over religious beliefs.

I am the first to admit that many of the issues of today's world are beyond my pay-grade. Syria is one of those issues. Israel and Palestine are one of those issues. And so many other issues that in my mind simply require people to sit down together and act like, well, human beings.

So, you see, I don't understand why I have read, over and over, in my FaceBook newsfeed over the past few days, rants that filled with hate for the Syrian people - as if their lives are not worth our concern. Worth our care.

As I said, I don't believe that this a simple "issue"  (gosh, what a little word to encompass the troubles of the world, no?) ... And I will be the first to admit, again, that I don't begin to understand the nuances and implications politically and strategically (it is, I'm told, a world-wide playing field) if the U.S. should enter Syria. So to be clear, I'm not even offering an opinion on this issue.

But I am offering an opinion on the things I see from some of my friends (people I love, people I like, people I respect ... For the most part).

So in fairness, here's how my little rant went:

Friends ... The following comments, made by me, do not require a response from you. None of you. But I'm going to say it because I'm about to explode, and let's be honest - the world is a better place without me vomiting my thoughts upon it. So lest I explode ...

On Syria: I don't even know what I think about this issue of U.S. intervention or no intervention ... But what I do know is that one life or 1,500 lives or 50,000 lives - it doesn't matter:

One life is not worth more than another.

An American life is not worth more by virtue of our citizenship.
A life is not worth more because of skin color - light, dark, freckled, fair or any shade in between.
A life is not worth more because of who you love (or don't love).
A life is not worth more because you believe in one God or many gods or no god.

What I do know is that life is a gift and the golden rule (as I was taught) is "to love your neighbor as yourself " ... There aren't any exceptions for loving your neighbor any more or less based on their location, race or beliefs.

I'm not cleaning out my Facebook friends because I love y'all and I care about your families and your jobs and your ridiculous rants about football teams of which you are not a member ... But don't think to involve me your hate-talk.

And I won't limit or censor what people may (or may not) have to say in response to this ... But I won't engage in hatefulness.

There are too many beautiful things about the people of this world to be bogged down and sucked into hatefulness.

Go meet a stranger and be a helper.

See y'all later. 

Saturday Stuff That Doesn't Involve Football

 So today around Noon (right as the Clemson - S.C. State football game came on, coincidentally), I had this text exchange with my friend N (in case you're curious, I'm the broke one):

 So about 30 minutes later, N rolled up and we went and picked up P and instead of IHOP (I don't eat at IHOP), we rolled down to Cracker Barrel so N could buy us both brunch (really it was lunch, since it was 1 pm, but we all ordered breakfast stuffs, so ...)

The first thing that happened, just after our food came, was that an older gentleman stood up and broke into a lovely rendition of "God Bless America" and paused long enough to invite the entire restaurant (filled with mostly retirees and the three of us ... Hey, the Cracker Barrel's parking lot literally attaches to Sun City - an over-55 retirement community!).
N continued eating.
P watched the man with a big smile on her face.
I, of course, sang right along.
 The song ended and there was applause.
We were part of a moment.
It was nice.


The second interesting part of was that we travel with our own jelly, made by N and her husband in their jelly sweatshop.
And no, you can't have any.
P took the last jar home with her.

 And here's where P captured me and N in our social networking responses this morning:

 

 (We are definitely looking our finest here ... I'm tweeting and N is FaceBooking)

There was something else I was going to tell y'all ... Hmmm ...

Oh yeah! 

So, I was looking at a local university's job openings and stumbled across this gem (which I have edited in the event that I ever apply/be considered for a job there; any thing noted in parenthesis are my personal thoughts):

Volunteer Opportunities

 This program is organized and planned by its curriculum committees and everyone is encouraged to contribute in some way. You may teach or facilitate a course (for free), be a class assistant (for free), serve on the curriculum committee (for free), help in the office (for free) or perform other tasks (for free). Working together maintains a high-quality program at a reasonable cost. A good way to first become involved is to serve as a class assistant. These valuable members hand out materials (for free), make announcements (for free), set up equipment (for free), and assist instructors in many important ways (for free).  For more information please contact …

I'm just saying that this school is a state school (receiving state AND federal tax dollars, as well as lots and lots of $$ from local businesses). 

 And while I'm all about some volunteer opportunities, it seems to me that the school could be putting some students to work in their "Work Study" program (you know - handing out the material that instructors are clearly unable to hand out, making announcements for the obviously voiceless instructors, setting up equipment for these helpless instructors ... FYI: Currently there are exactly no student employment opportunities posted by the school)

Student Employment Opportunities

None

 A note about this "Volunteer Opportunities" posting: I attended a state school that has about 700 students in its current freshman class and:

The average class size is 25-30 students with freshman classes averaging 30-35 students. The student-to-faculty ratio is 18 to 1. Smaller class sizes and frequent one-on-one conversation with faculty are consistently noted by students as contributors to their academic success.

Not one of my professors needed a volunteer to hand out materials, make announcements (unless they were vomiting and running to the loo - I think that happened once with an expectant mum instructor) or set up their equipment. From time-to-time, outside of scheduled instructional time, we were blessed with community leaders/members who gave of their time to speak on their chosen careers (politicians, reporters/anchors, advertising execs, etc.) - but these folks were certainly not taking the place of instructors/professors, rather they were adding to an already rich educational experience being provided at a fair cost by well-educated, intentional teachers.

Now I'm off my little soap box.

So. Those are the things that happened today ... None of which had anything to do with football, which IMO makes today awesome.

Also, I got to sing "God Bless America".
In public.
Kind of loudly.
Yay!

See y'all later!

Laundry! Cleaning! Ugh!

Ugh.

I hate cleaning. Absolutely detest cleaning.

And gosh, there's so much cleaning to be done!

I steam-cleaned the carpet just last week and already it looks horrible again.

My kids wear uniforms to school, and yet I have at least 10 loads of laundry that are not uniforms!

I need to paint the walls heading up the stairs. And the hand-rail. And ...

I need a job.

Yes, you heard me right.

I'm more productive and active when I have a job. I'm just not one of those people who can stay on task without structure ... and dropping the kids off at 8:15 and picking them up at 3:30? That's not as much "structure" as you might think.

Alright ... pity party over. Laundry is going, beds are made, kitchen is still a disaster ...

Better run!

The Walking Dead

Y'all, I'm so tickled.

The University of California at Irvine, in conjunction with AMC, announced today that it will be offering a FREE online course titled "Society, Science and Survival: Lessons from AMC's The Walking Dead"

That's all.

I can't write right now because I've got to go register for class ... Chat more later?

Yay!

Ohhh! Here's the link, just in case you're interested!

It Really, Really Is

Governor Nikki Haley was right ... It is a great day in South Carolina.

Welcome, September.

Post-Labor Day ... Post

I didn't forget I had a blog! I didn't forget! (YAY!!)

It was one of those long, didn't-really-do-anything-but-stayed-busy-just-the-same kind of weekends, so excuse me for not being around this weekend.

My parents and niece and nephew came down for the weekend, so we spent a lot of time just hanging out. We spent Saturday at the beach - which was exhausting for me and my Dad and super relaxing for my Mom. My Mom is the "doer" of things related to the kids during the normal week and Dad is the "doer" of outdoor chores. But at the beach, all bets are off because Mom doesn't like to get in the water. So, Dad and I spent the day in the water with four kids (3, 5, 9 & 10) while they jumped waves, plunged into the surf, got bashed by waves, got yanked by the current and generally just enjoyed being in the water.

And then we came home to conk out.

When we go to the beach (which is at least once a week during the summer, more if I can swing it), I am militant.

I love the beach, but I don't believe it's necessary to be coated in sand to enjoy yourself. We take toys, but only as much as the kids can carry to and from the beach, so usually that means each kid carries a boogie board and a bucket/shovel. I take a cooler (on wheels!) full of waters and a few Coca-Colas (because I have a problem - I know!) and usually sandwiches, chips, cookies and maybe granola bars.

*Note: When I go to the beach with kids, I plan to stay for the day. Barring a turn in the weather, we usually are on the beach for anywhere from 4-8 hours. Taking more waters than you expect to need is crucial to being able to leave without succumbing to heat/sun stroke. We also take lots of sunscreen!

I have the coolest chair ever - it has a deep pocket on the back that is big enough for a book, towel, sunscreen and the car keys. Best of all, the chair itself has backpack straps, leaving my hands free. Sometimes (but not always) I take a beach umbrella. I usually take one towel onto the beach (for wiping faces/bodies when it's time to reapply the sunscreen or if someone gets a face full of salt-water).

But the best thing that I do when we go to the beach, is take shampoo and leave-in conditioner and pajamas. Yep. Shampoo and conditioner, folks.

 When we're finished with our day at the beach, I have the kids shower off, I lather up their heads with shampoo and rinse them off, then I slather on some leave-in conditioner and hand them each their dry clothes to change into.

By the time we get home from the beach the kids are usually absolutely exhausted, so they get to go on into the house and have supper (I usually leave something going in the crock-pot or I run in ahead of them and give them something easy - cheese, turkey, Triscuits and fruit is a favorite light and easy meal at our house) ... and I clean out the car. Since we pack lightly for our beach days, I usually only need to grab wet suits, hang up towels (we will use them again and the kids were clean when they used them - it's our small way of being earth-friendly) and empty out the cooler.

The cooler is maybe the biggest deal ... We have super high-humidity here in coastal South Carolina, so after every beach trip we have to drain, rinse and then leave the cooler out in the sun to dry completely, lest we end up with a cooler full of mold and mildew. Yuck.

What do y'all do to make your beach - or mountain? camping? - day trips go more smoothly?

Dad, Mom, The Boy & The Nephew at Driessen Beach, Labor Day Weekend 2013

Oh ... We also watched Clemson beat the University of Georgia on Saturday night (between doing on couches) .. and we worked on the kids' "book nook" - when that project is finished, I'll share some pictures.

Thanks for coming by!

Wrong Shoes

So I had a meeting this morning and thought it was going to be a sit-down meeting ... So I wore these really cute wedge shoes (I love them - they are casual yet dressy, black canvas peep-toe with a 3-inch wedge). Normally, these are shoes I reserve for job interviews or meetings ... Events that don't require me to be on my feet for long periods of time and certainly don't involve walking any farther than to my car, my seat or the restroom.

But I misjudged my meeting. And what I thought was to be sit down 20-30 minute question/answer time ended up being a walking tour of an elementary school media center.

Let me stop here and say: For those of you who don't know, I LOVE a library. Any library. For me, libraries are a second home, filled with family and friends and characters waiting to become friends. I am a book lover. I love hard backs, paper backs, e-books, book jackets, book shelves, computer-access to books, blogs, magazines ... I love the technology aspects that are associated with the library ... If it's not clear, libraries are one of my happy places. And it's my goal to become a librarian - once I suck it up and take the GRE, that is.

So I have been accepted as a substitute teacher for our school district and I'm trying to make myself known to some of the local principals ... And today I met with a local elementary school librarian (who was very nice, BTW) and wore the wrong shoes.

Now, if you've never chosen the wrong shoes for certain activities, you can't really understand how this impacted me. So let me share.

I was walking around in the wrong shoes from about 8:45 this morning until around 11 am ... And then I stopped by Home Goods (not to really shop - my friend Paula works there and she had mentioned that they have gotten some great new comforters and quilts in & since I was just a couple of miles away, it made sense to stop in and say hello and take a gander at the new goods ... BTW - I only bought two things - a wall cling for the kids' book nook and a towel stand for our half bath). And then I remembered that I needed to go the grocery store. By now it was Noon and Wal-Mart was the nearest grocery ... You know where this is heading, don't you?

Well let me ruin the surprise - I didn't quite become one of the People of Wal-Mart, but it was a near, near miss.

By the time I made it to Wal-Mart, my left pinkie toe and my left bunion (yes, I have a bunion) hurt so badly, I was hobbling. I made it to the back of the store (of course they put the shoes in the back of the store!), I could barely walk.

Unbelievably, Wal-Mart had no women's or girls' flip-flops in my size.

So I hobbled around until I found the last pair of little boys 4/5 plastic flip-flops in blue-camo and I was back in business.

But now it's hours later (I'm waiting up on my parents who are driving down tonight for Labor Day weekend) and even with my feet propped up, my toe and bunion are absolutely throbbing.

The moral of this story?

Cute shoes = pain. Ugly shoes = pain-free.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

I have two major problems: OCD and ADD ... These two are not my friends when I need to clean.

I start cleaning one thing and get distracted by another project
Example of how the ADD effects me: I'm folding clothes and realize the drawers are a disaster, so I end up dumping the drawers to refold & organize. And the next thing I know, I'm stacking clothes that are too small or not the right season. And the next morning, I walk downstairs looking for clean underwear and realize that I never finished the laundry from the day before.

Or I start cleaning and I can't simply straighten up - I have to deep clean.
Example of how the OCD effects me: I start cleaning the kitchen - just a normal-after-supper cleaning ... Three hours later I find myself sitting on the kitchen floor with every single pot, pan, utensil, etc., all pulled out while I scrub cabinets and drawers. And then I find that my pants are ruined because the spot on the floor turned into me scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, with bleach. (Yes, I clean with straight up bleach. It makes me happy. Hush.)

Or, and this is where these two issues hit me together and hard: I look around and get so overwhelmed, I don't know where to start. 

• The floors need to be vacuumed. 
• The kitchen needs to be cleaned and swept and mopped. 
• The kids rooms are in desperate need of a deep cleaning. 
• The playroom? Eeegads, man. 
• The pile of laundry that I've all but given up on - it's clean, but it's unfolded. 

Or, and you'll like this one, I quit. I look around, totally overwhelmed and decide that I'd rather write a quick blog entry.

If any of y'all have have thoughts on organization tips, cleaning tips, tips on managing OCD and ADD ... Well, I'd love to hear them all.

Happy Hump Day, y'all.

Accepting Donations

We're broke.

But today I found a house that I want.

(Side Note:  We weren't looking for a house. We aren't looking for a house. This house is around the corner from us and I got an itch to peek in the windows - it's been sitting empty for months now ... And something told me to call and find out more.)

It made me smile. It made think about paint colors and where our furniture would look best. It made me start thinking about the cost to tear out the carpet (it's gross!) and how much new flooring would cost. About which shrubs would need to be pruned back immediately and which ones would need to wait til the first frost. It made me think about hearing my kids run up and down the stairs. It made me think about hearing their laughter in its halls. About Christmases and birthdays and Thanksgivings and sleepovers and cookouts and ... Well, you get the idea, right?

Did I mention the being broke part?

Yeah. Buying a house is nowhere near our radar right now, but this house ... To be totally cliche, this house spoke to me. 

To that end, I'm accepting donations. The MLS list price on this house is $205,000 ... So, if  10,250 readers (I currently have zero readers) send me $20, I can write that check with no worries. Please note I'd happily accept funds in larger increments, if you're so inclined.

So, are you in?

Oh yeah - I forgot to mention - it's a HUD house (a failed FHA loan) and the bidding ends August 30 at midnight. So ... send me some money?

Elastic and steak

I used to make fun of my Mom for wearing elastic-waist pants.
I used to laugh, I tell you, and tell her how truly dorky she was.

I used to roll my eyes at my Dad when my sister and I would ask to go out to eat on Saturday nights and he would say (in a very, very exasperated tone), "I'm not going anywhere tonight. I am staying at home and cooking out on the grill and having a beer. I have been gone all week."

I didn't understand that in the hustle and bustle of raising two children, working a full-time job, keeping a home orderly ... I didn't understand that sometimes you just want to be comfortable. And good grief - do y'all know how comfortable elastic-waist pants are? Oh. My. Gosh. I'm gonna say it on the record ... I wear elastic waist pants ... Yoga pants? Sure. Sweat pants? Absolutely. Granny-style elastic waist slacks? You betcha.
Y'all - being comfortable should never take a back seat to style. I say here and now: Elastic waist pants are comfortable and stylish.

And my poor, poor Daddy. Stuck with a wife and two daughters. Two daughters who were extremely social and wanted nothing more than to be out and about. But now? At 30-something, I totally get why he wanted to be at home, sipping a cold beer, knowing that he was going to sit down to a steak cooked just the way he wanted it, a fresh salad and a hot baked potato with the love of his life and his two amazing daughters. I understand now that there's just something about knowing you can bum out in your comfort clothes, relax, nod off (or not), watch a movie (or not) - whatever.

It isn't crazy how perspective can change with time? With maturity? With life experience?

Expecting Twins? No. Not us. But other people are.

Tonight I stumbled upon a pair of blog entries written by a husband/wife about  their IVF pregnancy which has resulted in twins (due this month) ... HuffPost picked up her response-post, and well, here I am.

Let me start with this: I believe that every life is a gift. I believe kids give us hope - they remind us of all of the things that we don't know; They remind us that there's a future to think about, to plan for, to want; They remind us to laugh at ourselves; They make us hear ourselves - have you ever heard your child(ren) repeating something you've said and thought, "Hmmm ... that didn't sound quite so awful when I said it!"? Yeah. I have, and it's not pretty.

That said, I kind of have an idea of how these parents feel. We love The Boy (Baby No. 1), but we wanted him to have a sibling (Baby No. 2 = The Girl).

I recall being so, so excited when were expecting Baby No. 2 ... For about five minutes. And then it hit me ... "Oh god - what have we done?" ... With The Boy, we had a system - a way of doing things, a routine. We were finally sleeping enough (almost). We finally seemed to have a handle on finances (almost). We had a gorgeous, smart, sweet, blue-eyed, healthy little boy. What were we thinking, upsetting the status quo with a pregnancy?!!

I was worried that we would not love Baby No. 2 as much as Baby No. 1.
(No worries - The Girl is much loved and has no self-esteem issues!)

I worried that Baby No. 1 would suffer waiting on Baby No. 2 to catch up (4.5 years is a big gap!).
(Well, The Boy did hate that The Girl didn't come out of the womb ready to play Legos or light sabers, but at 10 and 5, they get along pretty well ... And in all fairness, I have to say that The Boy is maybe the Best Big Brother Ever, and The Girl is maybe The Best Little Sister Ever. Only by the grace of God!) 

I worried that Baby No. 2 wouldn't be as smart/funny/gorgeous/liked as Baby No. 1.
(Oh. My. Gosh. I have the two most gorgeous, funny, smart, kind, witty children ever. What a stupid, useless worry). 

I worried about money and space and how much sleep we would (or would not!) get.
(Um, in fairness, we're still short on money. And the space thing would be easier if we were better about staying organized/not collecting stuff.  And sleep? Beat this with a stick - I regularly get anywhere from 5-8 hours of sleep. Bam! And my kids? They sleep All. Night. Long. Almost every night.)

And I worried about money some more.
(Let's be real: Unless you're independently wealthy or are planning/plotting to win the lottery, money is always a concern. Stuff is expensive. But the truth is ... My kids would rather snuggle and watch a movie, or read a book together than almost anything else. It's nice to do stuff, but it's more important to love each other. A lot.)

I think that every single fear that this Dad/Mom (I read both blog entries) expressed are the Same. Exact. Fears. that every parent of more than one child feels at some point, to some degree ... Times three.

Parenting and pregnancy are hard - it would be foolish not to be worried.

Parents are tired and stressed and financially strapped (unless you're independently wealthy? No? Then "yes" to everything I just said).

... But it's for a season. Before you know it, you're looking back over the last five years, not really remembering how little sleep or how little cash you had on hand - instead you're just wondering how it all happened so fast. How Baby No. 2 is two weeks into kindergarten and not carrying around her pacifier anymore. How Baby No. 1 is walking his sister to her classroom and when did he stop begging to watch Johnny Cash's Riding the Rails ETV special for the 964-billionth time?

You can do anything for a season. It will be hard. It might even suck. But you can do it.

Best wishes to these parents-to-be, and any other Mamas & Daddies out there who are scared spitless of starting this journey ... You're going to be great, even if you're not perfect.

Where have you come from , where have you been?

I'm not very good at starting a project and finishing it. I tend to start something - painting a bathroom, for example - and about half-way through, I'm more interested in something else than in finishing painting the bathroom. And that tends to be the way with most things I start, unfortunately.

For another example: Since I started writing this post, I've stopped to feed the cats, to clean a litter box (I washed my hands really well after), I have my FaceBook up and am watching (listening, really) to an episode of The West Wing - all while writing this post.

And all the while, I have a list of thing flitting through my head of things I need to do ...

• Dogs need a bath
• Vacuum the up- & downstairs
• Organize the too-small clothes
• Wash the guest room sheets
• Sweep & mop the kitchen
• Sweep & mop the half-bath
• Take out the trash
• Iron shirts 

...

Hopefully by this point you're getting the idea.

For a long time - since before my Grandmother's death in 2002 - I've been very interested in my family's history. From word-of-mouth I know quite a lot, but there's so much more to be, well, discovered. Just this weekend, my maternal Great-Grandmother and my paternal Grandmother were heavy on my mind. I thought of all the things they said or did during my life with them that helped mold me ... And about how sad I am not to have them here, now, to know the woman I am - to know my children.

So I pulled up their obituaries - the sum of their public lives.

My Great-Grandmother, Lola Williams Sloan, was an educator in South Carolina for 45 years. She helped pioneer special education in South Carolina (That's her with the huge sun hat on ... With myself, my Mom and my younger sister).

My Grandmother, Marian LaCross Williams Jones, was a Voter's Rights advocate in Marion, South Carolina during the 1970's, helping residents get registered to vote and helping them make it to the polls. (That's her, wearing red and showing off her gardening)

Those facts are out there for the world to know, but those facts are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to lives well-lived.

My grandmothers loved fiercely - their family and their friends. They didn't accept "good enough" - from family, friends, neighbors. The worked harder than hard - from sun-up to sun-down. They cooked. They laughed. They hugged children who needed hugs - their own children or the children of others. My grandmothers taught me (and others) - sometimes in a traditional classroom, sometimes while playing basketball in the driveway.

I'm sad that my children won't know these women - will never touch their hands, be hugged by them, snuggle in their laps, eat their cooking, listen to them read, sit with them through a thunderstorm ... So I'm going to try to do better about finishing projects and I'm going to do more research on our family tree. Because knowing where you come from can help direct you to where you're going.

These are a few of my favorite things ...

Oreo Cookies.
Thunder storms after 6 pm. 
Shrimp, breaded and fried.
Turquoise and red. 
Tomatoes grown in a field, not a green house.
Linens line-dried. 
Ice-cold Coca-Cola.
Staying up all night to finish a book.
Prosser's BBQ sauce.
Laughing til you cry.
Bacon.
The way my kids smell after a day on the beach.
Vick's Vapo-Rub. 
Hand-written notes.
Justified and The West Wing, The New Girl & The Parenthood ... in no particular order.
Pat Conroy, J.K. Rowling, Suzanne Brockmann, Justin Cronin, Dr. Walter Edgar, John Irving, Stephen King ... Well, you hopefully get the idea. 
Salsa & guacamole, fresh & made at home.
Fleece when it's cold.
Flip-flops when it's hot.
Old Crow Medicine Show, The Avett Brothers, The Dixie Chicks (in all their many incarnations), Adele, The Eagles, Chicago, Cat Stevens.
Ugly shoes ... Not a brand - I just like ugly shoes.


These are just a few of my favorite things ... If any of them strike a cord with you, come back for more. And feel free to share some of your favorite things!