Let me start with this: I believe that every life is a gift. I believe kids give us hope - they remind us of all of the things that we don't know; They remind us that there's a future to think about, to plan for, to want; They remind us to laugh at ourselves; They make us hear ourselves - have you ever heard your child(ren) repeating something you've said and thought, "Hmmm ... that didn't sound quite so awful when I said it!"? Yeah. I have, and it's not pretty.
That said, I kind of have an idea of how these parents feel. We love The Boy (Baby No. 1), but we wanted him to have a sibling (Baby No. 2 = The Girl).
I recall being so, so excited when were expecting Baby No. 2 ... For about five minutes. And then it hit me ... "Oh god - what have we done?" ... With The Boy, we had a system - a way of doing things, a routine. We were finally sleeping enough (almost). We finally seemed to have a handle on finances (almost). We had a gorgeous, smart, sweet, blue-eyed, healthy little boy. What were we thinking, upsetting the status quo with a pregnancy?!!
I was worried that we would not love Baby No. 2 as much as Baby No. 1.
(No worries - The Girl is much loved and has no self-esteem issues!)
I worried that Baby No. 1 would suffer waiting on Baby No. 2 to catch up (4.5 years is a big gap!).
(Well, The Boy did hate that The Girl didn't come out of the womb ready to play Legos or light sabers, but at 10 and 5, they get along pretty well ... And in all fairness, I have to say that The Boy is maybe the Best Big Brother Ever, and The Girl is maybe The Best Little Sister Ever. Only by the grace of God!)
I worried that Baby No. 2 wouldn't be as smart/funny/gorgeous/liked as Baby No. 1.
(Oh. My. Gosh. I have the two most gorgeous, funny, smart, kind, witty children ever. What a stupid, useless worry).
I worried about money and space and how much sleep we would (or would not!) get.
(Um, in fairness, we're still short on money. And the space thing would be easier if we were better about staying organized/not collecting stuff. And sleep? Beat this with a stick - I regularly get anywhere from 5-8 hours of sleep. Bam! And my kids? They sleep All. Night. Long. Almost every night.)
And I worried about money some more.
(Let's be real: Unless you're independently wealthy or are planning/plotting to win the lottery, money is always a concern. Stuff is expensive. But the truth is ... My kids would rather snuggle and watch a movie, or read a book together than almost anything else. It's nice to do stuff, but it's more important to love each other. A lot.)
I think that every single fear that this Dad/Mom (I read both blog entries) expressed are the Same. Exact. Fears. that every parent of more than one child feels at some point, to some degree ... Times three.
Parenting and pregnancy are hard - it would be foolish not to be worried.
Parents are tired and stressed and financially strapped (unless you're independently wealthy? No? Then "yes" to everything I just said).
... But it's for a season. Before you know it, you're looking back over the last five years, not really remembering how little sleep or how little cash you had on hand - instead you're just wondering how it all happened so fast. How Baby No. 2 is two weeks into kindergarten and not carrying around her pacifier anymore. How Baby No. 1 is walking his sister to her classroom and when did he stop begging to watch Johnny Cash's Riding the Rails ETV special for the 964-billionth time?
You can do anything for a season. It will be hard. It might even suck. But you can do it.
Best wishes to these parents-to-be, and any other Mamas & Daddies out there who are scared spitless of starting this journey ... You're going to be great, even if you're not perfect.
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